Iam not what you expect!

Thursday after working at 1850 I drove all the way out to Pembroke to hang out with Jared and Joey! I met Jared's very conservative parents, and Joey and I really liked them. After Dinner we took a tour to Petawawa and then went to Kimberly's house to get her and kelly, then off to Buck Hill we went! OMG so creepy.
Friday we drive back home and took a tour thru Arnprior for fun. I dropped the boys off at Ottawa U, and I went to go hang out with Emme and Megs *hags* I havent seen them in ages and it was nice to hang out. For dinner we went to Emme's dads place and played DDR Xbox. Emmes dad gave me a light for my key chain and a memory card for the computer, which I thought was awesome, since I needed one! Thanks dad!
Saturday, I have a INSANE goal at work it was $1407.00, i only made $1255.76 *tear* After work I went to Ottawa U to drink with Joey and Jared, we then got Matty G, and hit up the bar! I saw so many people I havent seen in ages *quinn, joel, evan, gregg, robin, jason* JOey was COMPLETELY trashed, and we left around 2.
Today is easter, and i got woke up at 10 to watch an easter egg hunt in my house, brunch is next, and then im off to my dads house for dinner then off to the track!

well Greg, thats about it, Ill update more just for you since you're greg, but you did ditch me once robin started talking to us...THANKS!

Things are going well, Andrew is gone to Cornwall for the week so I've been doing whatever. I have hung out with my highschool friends, Justin, various others, I also went clubbing all week with Jared! One on One parties are the best! We talked about everything, mostly because we were drunk. Wednesday was the best it has ever been! Last night was good too.
With the jobs, Iam currently working at the Racetrack, and got a part-timer at Treats (selling coffee...for now), and I just got a job at 1850 (fulltime) on Thursday, so as it stands Im up to my elbows in jobs...
Tonight is meg's surprise party, it should be fun, she was really pissed at all of us last week. we all had to lie and say we had plans that weekend, and couldnt go to her party. woot

gotta run

Last night I re-arranged my room, and today Iam finally going and buying paint, so I can paint my room! yay!

so im off to buy paint!

( My Boyfriend turned out to be gay... )

Since I've been back from London, nothing seems to be going quiet right..NOthing seems the same, everything is different.
My dad is being more of an ass now then ever. It all starts with money issues and asking him if he would help me pay for a computer, since I paid my tuition and my books all by myself, then he had to nerve to tell me that I dont know the value of a dollar...He then told me I HAD to go on my mother's insurance because he didnt want me on his anymore, and he wouldnt give me the information I needed for school to get excempted from the health plan there. So I called his work and got harassed by the lady, I couldnt call and complain to the boss, since we never got along, we would always argue about everything...He even pissed me off at my dads wedding...damn dads boss...
Work is going ok, its been very odd and confusing, and lots of stuff going on, I am enjoying it, but at the same time Iam hating it, I find it boring and dull and not exciting and interesting now that Im back, I think its because my job has changed and Iam not doing as much here as I was back in London. Since I have been bvack to work, I find my boss' have gotten along with the rest of the staff alot more over the summer, the staff has gotten closer, and such. I feel left out and not really wanted at work...But I know this is from being hand-picked to go to london, and being gone for 2 months...then magically re-apperaing and getting the same job I had...Some of them resent the fact that I went and got trained in London, while others dont seem to really care.
Iam slowly looking for a new and interesting job, since this one isnt pushing me like it should, and im not learning anything new.
I have always been told not to dwell my problems onto others by my dad, but I enjoyed talking to my aunt and uncle about everythign that was buggine me...Me and my aunt would sit and drink coffee for what seemed like the better half of the day and just talk about anything and everything..It was nice, and since being back it seems nobody has the time or wants to sit down and talk, or even talk over the phone...and there is so much I just want to say and do, get off my chest and cry about..Iam tired of being the "big boy" and having to put up a front for my brother and finally I feel that I can drop that and say everything and do everythign Ive wanted to do...I've always had to ever since the divorce of my parents..It seems that everything always somehow makes it way back to my parents divorce...
I have also been in this foul mood. I have energy but I dont, Iam hungry but Iam not, Iam tired but I cant sleep. I want to go out and do things, but I dont feel like getting up and doing these things..Like today I had a list of things I wanted to do before I went to work, and did I do any of them?...sort of, I wanted to clean out the computer and fix it, I wanted to clean my room, do laundry, organize the spare room with all of my junk, I wanted to go tanning and pick out a new pair of pants...and what did I do? I cleaned out and organized the computer...and went to work...that was my day from 11 to 5...

well I guess thats my ranting for now...
AnDyRwEwW...

Tonight is the worst fucking night EVER!!!!
I have been yelled at by 5 cranky customers sicne i have been here today and I arrived at 6pm. and it is like 11:09 . First the movies were a lil off, and customers complained, and then somethign about food and then some other stupid shit. Then the customers had the odasity, yes thats right I said it, odasity to ask for the manager, and then I tell them Iam the manager, then they freak out on me, and dont take me serious because I look young.. YES I KNOW I DONT LOOK 18, YES I KNOW IM YOUNG.. BUt that doesnt give them the right to complain that I dont kow what Iam doing, and Iam too young for the job! If I can do teh fucking job and not screw up, then I think Im old enough!
FUCK! People make me sick! plus ontop of everythign Iam catching a cold, Iam a little tired, and I miss home and everyone back there....So fuckng customers can fucking suck a cock for all I care...fucking tools....

Lately my cousin has been pissing me off.. He is a month older then me, and 3 times my size, roughly, so hes a pretty big guy! And ontop of that hes a "fag hater", as he calls himself. So I have been having an interesting time. Like a couple days ago I was swimming and tanning at the pool in the backyard and he comes out and is like "is that all you fucking do you fag, swim and tan?" Then he throws the rest of his drink on me and leaves. Then he will check up on me occasionally when Iam on the computer to make sure im not doing anything "bad", so I see him come in and im on glbt checking things and writing shouts and hes like what are you on fag? Then I start saying how I love this guy cuz hes good, and his got a huge cock, and man, he was the best ever, like I must have cummed like 3 times that time. then he ran off to the bathroom to vomit...HAHAHAHA serves him right! OH! and yesterday he woke me up at fucking 8am, 8!! AM!!! I got into the house at 3 from work that morning, and he woke me up at 8, and was like if I cant sleep then you cant sleep fag...so I went swimming and slept outside at the pool..YAY sun and sleep.. So this morning Im in my room sleeping, and I hear big thumps on the stairs and I know its my cousin, and then I hear him yell, and all this shit, and he comes into my room and turns on the light opens the blinds and smacks me over the head with a coat hanger!!! A COAT HANGER! I was not impressed, first of all, becuase he fucking hit me, second cuz i worked the night before and got in at 2 and it was like 9 in the morning. So I get up punch him in the face, and he falls on the computer desk and breaks it. HIs face was bleeding and everything...man it felt good to hit him, and normally im not a violent person at all, but fuck he deserved that one!!!

Sitting here in my room at my aunts, I have realized that I have seemed to miss the party of the year that occured at Marin and Wills last night. *tear* This whole moving to London thing for the summer to be trained as a supervisor is really taking its toll on me...Im missing out on stuff, Im missing hanging out with my friends that i wont see until holidays or next summer, as long as I dont get shipped away again...which there is talk of me going out west to theaters there next summer.

it has been ages since my last post, and guys im sorry...;)
Well Iam official living in London at the moment, and it is going somewhat okay. London is a boring town, or so it is so far, but all the college and university students sohould be comming back soon, yay cute college boys..There downtown here stinks, its about 10 years behind the one in Ottawa, there downtown reminds me of when bank street was totally Ghetto. The mcDonalds has a 'walk-thru", the bums here are fucking mouthy "hey dude, you got change?" "No..No i dont sorry.." "Youve got those shoes, that shirt and pants like that5 and youve got no fuckign change...i see a problem with that!" ;like I said mouthy bums..There police officers here are kinda scary..i was walking downtown the other day getting my mcDonalds, yes from the walk thru..lol after getting yelled at by the bum, and I see this HUGE lady, and I mean fucking HUGE, so was like 3 kristie Alley's at my height, so she was a MAMMOTH! and i keep walking somemore and then i here these feet hitting the pavement and a thud, so i look behind me and the two cops that were around the corner charged at her and knocked her down to the ground in a huge thud...I was like oh..ok...*keeps walking*...
I got my hair cut a couple of days ago and the bitch youdid it made me fucking bleed! she was washing my hair and got her bracelet stuck on my new ear piercing!! and ripped it a little, and then towel drying my hair she got it again1 fuck!! i wanted to hurt that twat-wad....then she was all like, wow that is a new peirceing isnt it..ya well duh....you shuld go home and wash it its a lil crusty and bloodish...Only cuz you hit it bitch...fuck man, this stinks...my experience here has been not so good yet.
Work, well its work, iam in charge of a staff of like 25, and its a lil scary at times, when i have to send people home or keep people later, or big things like that. working with the large amounts of money doesnt scare me..weird, i deal with like thosuands of dollars a day, the other day i was handeling like 7 thousand bucks, and i was playing with it like it was a toy, it was really fun being able to say i was holding that much money in my hands *evil grin*
Hopefully me and some of the gurls from work will be going clubbing soon, since we talkabotu it all the time! *yay, makes ass of himself infront of staff..lol* its pretty kewl though, teh staff and I get along great, i think its cuz im closer to there age then any of hte other staff, and I joke around with them ALL the time,and we jooke and do pranks and throw popcorn and ice at each other.
For all those back in Ottawa im missing you all, and I wish I was back there to han gout and party and get drunk and go clubbing an djust have a fuckng awesome summer! sometimes I regret taking this position, like when i have to stay until 2am at work t get things done on friday or saturday night, and comming back in for 11 the next day..But at the same time, I took it to get the experience, get more money, bcome supervisor in ottawa when I get back....
Living with my cousin isnt the greatest either, hes a fat pig, who lives in a mess, and its disgusting, the bathroom is horrible and it makes me not want to shower...lol but I do *holds nose and tip toes in* we dont get along, we are the same age, and i dunno, it would be kind anice if we did get along, then I could go out and do things with him and his friends, but we dont get along, or me and his friends, i have met them before...it was all different before I came out, we use to go to the beach and junk, but not anymore, if im in the house and he will be the only other person he leaves....it makes me feel so very welcome, i kinda wish i was back in Ottawa alot...

So im here in london finally, I actually arrived around 9.30pm on Friday night! Saturday was a good day, we went shopping sop I would have something to wear to work and look like I was supose to be there...lol Work is going ok, today will be my second day, but yesterday was a BRUTAL day I pulled 13 hours, but yet thats $130 :D so i wont be complainnig to much about my hours since the pay will be good! So far with the staff that works there, not to many seem to be a little pissed off that someone ytounger then them has jumped higher then them...but such is life, there was one guy his named is Jarred and he is Emo to the max, but never call him Emo or he will *pick a grubby apple off the tree and through it down to the ground*...lol so Jarred at first was a little sketchy of the fact that I was high then him...meh I dont really care, Im there to be trained!~ But I gotta go finsih getting ready for day 2!

Last night at work, right after my shift, I got called into the Office to talk to my manager Carol, to find out that they ARE shipping me out to London to work as a floor supervisor for the rest of the summer...I was surprised that they did in fact want me, I have not had supervisor training or anything, I have done little bits here and there, but that is about it...
Iam very worried, and frightened...I will be running a theater, well 1/3 of a theater, but that is A LOT of a theater. I will also have a staff of about 25 to look after and remember names, and other things, I will be learning how to use and properly run a projector if they have time, which would kind of be interesting, since i will be able to do that back here when I get back. if need be.
Im scared of doing a bad job and screwing up big time, also of not having a good time..Im hoping I dont make a complete fool of myself, and get completely laughed at...but I dont think I will, since I know most things anywayz...
the lady I was talking to today at the theater in London sounds like a complete Air head, she didnt even know who I was, or that I was comming down, I should have just waited and talked to Katrina and not settled for Jacqulain..or I should have talked to jeff instead, since he knew...
anywayz, things other then that are going well...I applied to College for Business, they had assured me there was still room in the course that I wanted, so hopefully I will get in. so I will be waiting to hear from my mom if I got in or not....I suer hope I do! My dad is still away on his honey-moon...they went camping *yee-haw* can you be anymore hick?? Im kind of glad that I wont be here this summer, to have to put up with anything from him..I just want my grad gift...but im not holding my breath...
but I have to go finish packing my stuff, and do some laundry...

So about 20 minutes ago my life gets flipped upside down again...I just got an email from the Boss Tom asking if I wanted a full time supervisor position in either London or Brantford for the summer...My trips there and back will be paid for as will m living expenses, but I have family in London, so I could live with them...
But I dont knw if I want to take it....I hate makeing decisions...urgh...

I know its been foreever, I have been uber crazy and busy running around like a chicken with its head cut off.....but Im here at last! so lately things have been going crazy!
Ive been clubbing more lately which is super awesome
Im now done high school, graduated with TWO extra credits, i failed twice and even took a spare, im quiet impressed :p lol
Prom was good, and yes sorry greg mike logan did take your crown *tear* I should have won t carry on teh tradition of a gay oths guy winning!!
My dads wedding was today, and I brouhgt Dj as my "date" since I could bring one if it was ONLY a girl, which Dj is...I had to take her back home to change since my dad and debbie (new stepmom) didnt think she was dressed right...then there was a big commotion with the driving and I was supose to go with Debbie but dad had never told me, so they were upset about that, then after the ceremony, like 30 minutes after Dj changed since we thought it would be ok, but it wasnt, suposilypeople were complaining and commenting that my date had changed, and they didnt think it was right, since I was in a suit and she changed into jeans and a nice shirt....itw as totally fine by me and a bunch of people there, so my dad was going to come in and take her out himself, but debbie came in without him knowing and pulled me aside and told me that she either had to go into the dress again or shes going home, and that she has no problems pulling out her...and I told debbie later tonight that if they would have pulled her out by her arm that they would never see or hear me again for a long time, since there is no need to yank someone out of a public place for what they are wearing...well to a degree but not in our situation...while I was gone, people were asking dad where I was, and hes like I dont know..but they all knew my date was aksed to leave and they were worried I wasnt going to show up, sine it would ruin whatever me and my dad have, which at this point, I dont fucking care if we get along or not.....
so basically my dad is a prick and so is my new step-mom but shes more rational then my father which is good at some points..OH and he yelled at me for my eear and watned to rip it out, but yet again, there would have been another scene and created alot of tension between me and my father which would not have been good for the wedding, sice I would not have went....fuck they piss me off

im going to bed

night!

SO i know its been awhile, Ive been kinda left away from the internet for awhile...with work and school and homework *pukes* I colored my hair again, its now a dark color, it looks good, but I still want to change it up alot..I need a new cut or something...*ponders* Work is going well..im slowly getting more hours which means MORE MONEY!!!! *dances* gettting a second job in the summer if thigns go right, which I hope they do, I want to do alot this summer, hit the beach with dj and them and such....movies, partyies, clubbing, road trip or two ;)

I did this and laughed...since I already have the Red and White Nike Dunk Low Sneakers...hehehe

Your Inner Gangsta by crash_and_burn
What is yo name?
Yo gangsta name be	V-Shizzle
You ride around in a	A pair of 1962 Roller Skates
Yo gang	The Mafia
Yo shoes be	Red and white Nike Dunk-Lows
Yo dubs be dis big, fool	3,998
How much money you got?	$3.21814004707037e+26
How gangsta are you, bitch?: 70%
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Its still kinda funny....

Last night I got picked up around 10ish and we headed to Montreal with Derek, Mal and Caleb! Got there and found Shawn, and we went clubbing...it wasnt the busyest night, but we made do....We toured around downtown and different parts of montreal, since Caleb and I have never been before!! On the way home Caleb kept calling shot gun, so he sat in teh front, but he kept falling asleep so Mal and I kept doing things to him when he would fall asleep so he'd jump up and be all biggity...
omg but it ws awesome! we defineatly have to do that again!

yesterday mom let me sleep in and took me to lunch downtown in the Market..it was ok but I had fun! :D Then I went and partied with Shawn, Mal, and Nancy for awhile, then shawn left with jason, so we headed to mcDonalds, and had the best burger ever! man it tasted like sex!! literally! Then headed to Kyles, we hung out with there for awhile, somked around again, then off to pick up derek at the bus, we got there, and his bus was late..so we drove downtown, and went to parliment, and walked around, man that view was amazing! we were over looking the Ottawa river, its so pretty at night with all the lights. I twas then time to go and get derek this time, so we got there, and stood on the waiting dock for him, and there he was Woots! lol, headed back to his place, smoked around again, nancy left, then I drove mal to the bus stop and I headed to my aunts house...only to find out she locked the dead bolt, and I dont have that key *cries* so I had to drive ALL the way back to RUSSELL!!!! that night, after being incredibly tired, and smoking alot...it was not cool, not cool at all! Got home and crahsed on my bed, and I woke up around 12.30 it was SSSSSSSSOOOOO nice to sleep in. Now off to work, MIght be going raving tonight, or hanging with others, not sure yet... but im off!~

I headed over to Lees last night...First time in awhile that Ive been there, I visited Martin and gave him back the book I used for my english ISU, which he forgot I had, we played this Samuari (sp?) game on Xbox...it was pretty good, other then the bottom screen is shitty! SHATTY!, with teh words and the smallness and the unfairness....but all in all it was good I twas nice to hang with mr.martin again.
I then left, and phoned Mal, and her and others were walking down Rideau, so we met up, and I drove them back home and we hung out for awhile, mal and nancy left, I watched Oblongs, and then Jason came by, and we hung for a bit, it was kewl seeing him again....He seems different from the last time Ive seen him, I dunno what it is, maybe cuz he was sober..and I wasnt *ponders* but it was a awesome night
alot better then sitting at home, doing math, or something! *grins*

After my last post, I went for my drive, and I phoned matt to see if he wanted to hang out and he did. So I asked him if he had an old ID and he did *grins* so I got to his place and he was almost ready, and we went out to Edge...OMG I had such a great time, and I saw people I havent seen in ages...It was nice to get out and dance and just have a blast.....
I wanna go again *sticks tounge out* its addictive

right now, im sitting here at my computer in the basement of an empty house. Iam all alone tonight, and have nothing to do! but think, and thinking I have done....but its not the good thinking, its thinking about how eveything has gone wrong, or is going wrong..and when I do this I tend to dwell on topics I shouldn't (i.e boys, weddings, friends, and money) and ive realized alot about myself tonight.
I am not able to make a full consscious decison without someone elses opinion or thought. Ihave to do stuff with another person, I cant do anything alone, I dont want my father to get married and have to go visit a tension filled house, acceptance is a HUGE part of my life, I feel like i need to be accpeted by everyone, even thought I know not everyone likes everyone. Everytime somethign bad in my life happens, I cover it up right away with soething better and I dont talk about and let everything build up until I get sick, or cant handle anything else and break down in an emotional rollercoaster.
I think Im going to go lay down, and watch tv, or go for a drive...I dunno where, but go for a drive, just to get out, have some fresh air, and go

On a brighter note from my last entry, my momther has decided to buy me a car!!! I lov emy mom so much for buying me a car! Its a nice car, its a 92 cavalier 2 door..and its that bluey color from that year! Its really nice! I cant wait..Im getting it either tomorrow or friday! Insurance will only cost me roughly 115$/month which im very excited for!
THis means, I can go out and not have to worry about times to go pick up my mom, and Ill only be using the gas that goes into the car, and I can drive to school ALL the time, and YAY! *jumps*
Also I wont be getting sick anymore, like I have been from getting over tired with work, driving, and picking up my mommie from work, so Ill be healthy!